When your friend runs into Robert Downey Jesus Christ Jr.
Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down and I’d like to take a minute just sit right there, I’ll tell you how I had a stroke when I wasn’t even there…
Of course I’m not in Los Angeles right now, OF COURSE. Anyway… my friend went to In-N-Out. He noticed a bomb-ass Audi in the parking lot but didn’t think too much of it other than wanting to pet it generously & possibly have a wet-dream about it.
Once inside he gets in line behind a man with a hat on. There’s a large group of teenagers infront of them both & my friend’s initial reaction was ‘why are they all looking at me?’ Well they aren’t you pompus fuck, Robert Downey Jr. is in front of you & you’re the last to know.
So hat-man gets to the register but quickly whips around, smiles (you know one of those classy smiles) & says "Why don’t you go ahead of me?"
Then heavens parted and the angels began to sing because HOLY FUCK, THAT’S ROBERT MOTHER FUCKING JUSTDON’TSAYANYTHING JR.
Managing to avoid going into cardiac arrest my friend said thanks & stepped infront of him. Naturally, he tried to down-play the situation & play devil’s advocate because NO FUCKING WAY. So, he used this checklist to determine if this was in fact Tony Stark that had just spoken to him:
Is he wearing goofy clothes? Check.
Is he shorter than me? Check.
Is he wearing goofy see-through sunglasses? Check.
Is he wearing a goofy hat? Check.
So he sat down to wait for his food. At this point my phone started blowing up with texts & pictures, but I was at work… I’m sure he was gawking at Robert like any normal person whose seen Iron Man 3 7 times would, desperately trying to calculate his sanity without shouting & giving anything away.
BUT THEN, Robert came and sat down right next to him!!!!!1!! He had to squeeze in though because apparently it was crowded or some shit. Then he accidently bumped into my skateboard (I wasn’t there once again but my friend rode my board for some reason
destiny.) & apologized before getting up to grab his food. THE END.
Now obviously, I’m obscenely pissed off & jealous. (This lucky assclown has seen Ryan Gosling, Chris Evans, Daniel Craig & now RDJ) That’s endlessly annoying to me.
I’ll be okay.